The Line King: The history of end zone celebrations and weekend - KFVS12 News & Weather Cape Girardeau, Carbondale, Poplar Bluff

The Line King: History of end zone celebrations, weekend picks

  • AlabamaMore>>

  • Johnson expects Collin Sexton to play vs. Arkansas

    Johnson expects Collin Sexton to play vs. Arkansas

    Friday, February 23 2018 4:44 PM EST2018-02-23 21:44:32 GMT
    Collin Sexton at Alabama basketball practice. (Source: WBRC video)Collin Sexton at Alabama basketball practice. (Source: WBRC video)

    Alabama men’s basketball coach Avery Johnson said on Friday that he expects freshman Collin Sexton to be eligible to play in Saturday’s game against Arkansas.

    Alabama men’s basketball coach Avery Johnson said on Friday that he expects freshman Collin Sexton to be eligible to play in Saturday’s game against Arkansas.

  • Alabama football hires two new assistant coaches

    Alabama football hires two new assistant coaches

    Thursday, February 22 2018 5:58 PM EST2018-02-22 22:58:36 GMT
    (Source: University of Alabama)(Source: University of Alabama)
    (Source: University of Alabama)(Source: University of Alabama)

    Alabama head football coach Nick Saban announced Thursday the addition of Dan Enos and Craig Kuligowski to the Crimson Tide coaching staff. Enos will serve as an associate head coach and quarterbacks coach for the Tide, while Kuligowski will be an associate head coach and coach the defensive line. 

    Alabama head football coach Nick Saban announced Thursday the addition of Dan Enos and Craig Kuligowski to the Crimson Tide coaching staff. Enos will serve as an associate head coach and quarterbacks coach for the Tide, while Kuligowski will be an associate head coach and coach the defensive line. 

  • SEC announces lineup for SEC Media Days

    SEC announces lineup for SEC Media Days

    Thursday, February 22 2018 4:59 PM EST2018-02-22 21:59:17 GMT

    Media Days kickoff July 16 from Atlanta's College Football Hall of Fame and  Alabama head coach Nick Saban will speak on day three and Auburn head coach Gus Malzahn on day four.

    Media Days kickoff July 16 from Atlanta's College Football Hall of Fame and  Alabama head coach Nick Saban will speak on day three and Auburn head coach Gus Malzahn on day four.

  • LSUMore>>

  • LSU football enjoys team outing at original T.J. Ribs restaurant

    LSU football enjoys team outing at original T.J. Ribs restaurant

    Tuesday, August 11 2015 9:37 PM EDT2015-08-12 01:37:12 GMT
    Tuesday, August 11 2015 10:06 PM EDT2015-08-12 02:06:19 GMT
    The LSU football team took a break from the sweaty grind of fall camp Tuesday night to enjoy some team bonding and great food.
    The LSU football team took a break from the sweaty grind of fall camp Tuesday night to enjoy some team bonding and great food.
  • LSU football wants return to 2011 defense

    LSU football wants return to 2011 defense

    Thursday, August 6 2015 3:15 PM EDT2015-08-06 19:15:51 GMT
    Thursday, August 6 2015 3:36 PM EDT2015-08-06 19:36:51 GMT
    LSU may have ranked No. 1 in the SEC defensively last season, but many fans and analysts agree that wasn’t an accurate reflection of how the team actually played. 
    LSU may have ranked No. 1 in the SEC defensively last season, but many fans and analysts agree that wasn’t an accurate reflection of how the team actually played. 
  • LSU football reports for fall camp, Miles says Bain was never reinstated

    LSU football reports for fall camp, Miles says Bain was never reinstated

    Wednesday, August 5 2015 12:06 PM EDT2015-08-05 16:06:42 GMT
    Wednesday, August 5 2015 4:52 PM EDT2015-08-05 20:52:04 GMT
    On a steamy and sweltering morning in south Louisiana, the LSU football team officially reported for the start of fall camp. The Tigers checking into the West Campus Apartments Wednesday morning, with their first practice set for Thursday. 
    On a steamy and sweltering morning in south Louisiana, the LSU football team officially reported for the start of fall camp. The Tigers checking into the West Campus Apartments Wednesday morning, with their first practice set for Thursday. 
  • Texas A&MMore>>

  • Game winning shot rattles out, Ole Miss falls at Texas A&M

    Game winning shot rattles out, Ole Miss falls at Texas A&M

    Tuesday, January 16 2018 11:44 PM EST2018-01-17 04:44:02 GMT
    Source: SEC NetworkSource: SEC Network

    Tyler Davis scored 20 points, including Texas A&M's final basket, and the Aggies defeated Mississippi 71-69 on Tuesday night for A&M's first victory in Southeastern Conference play this season. The Rebels' Breein Tyree missed a 3-point attempt at the other end that rattled in and out as time expired.

    Tyler Davis scored 20 points, including Texas A&M's final basket, and the Aggies defeated Mississippi 71-69 on Tuesday night for A&M's first victory in Southeastern Conference play this season. The Rebels' Breein Tyree missed a 3-point attempt at the other end that rattled in and out as time expired.

  • Jimbo Fisher accepts head coach position at Texas A&M

    Jimbo Fisher accepts head coach position at Texas A&M

    Friday, December 1 2017 1:40 PM EST2017-12-01 18:40:51 GMT
    Friday, December 1 2017 1:40 PM EST2017-12-01 18:40:51 GMT

    He had been coaching the team for eight years with a 83-23 record. He succeeded Bobby Bowden in 2010.

    He had been coaching the team for eight years with a 83-23 record. He succeeded Bobby Bowden in 2010.

The following column is satire and intended for entertainment purposes.

(RNN) - While limping through this past college football weekend and watching Utah players giving each other a "flying chest bump" after scoring the 70th point of the game, The Line King began wondering about the history of end zone celebrations. There's no place better to highlight the demise of college football than exploring the evolution of ostentatious post-touchdown merrymaking.

1950s: Not enough data since most games ended with scores of 0-0, 3-0, 3-2 or 5-3

1960s: Player scores game-winning, fourth-quarter touchdown. Player hands ball to referee, shakes QB's hand. Head coach in suit and felt fedora yells at player for missing block in first half – tells him to go sit on the bench. Player grabs metal ladle from old wooden bucket, quenching his thirst with room temperature water – grass clippings in water add flavor. Player's girlfriend tells him afterwards she is leaving school to follow Jefferson Airplane.

1970s: Player scores game-winning, fourth-quarter touchdown. Player tosses ball to referee. Gives "high five" to his teammates. Head coach in mega-tight polyester pants, polyester golf shirt and polyester mesh ball cap yells at player for showboating – tells him to go sit on bench. Player pushes his way through dripping offensive linemen to grab cup of room temperature water from card table. Player reports to the clinic Monday morning with dysentery.

1980s: Player scores game-winning, fourth-quarter touchdown. Player drops ball on ground and begins choreographed mega-dance with teammates. Delivers "high fives" to everyone he can find. Very old head coach in sweatshirt doesn't notice. Player grabs water bottle – in midstream, from offensive lineman – and quenches thirst with fancy, new, green sports drink. Player reports to clinic Monday morning with mysterious rash.

1990s: Player scores game-winning, fourth-quarter touchdown. Player throws ball into air and runs to stands and proposes to his girlfriend. Coach grabs sports information director and asks if they got that for their recruiting promo. Player grabs a bottle with "electrolytes," which he sips as he calls agent to see if he got that for his draft promotion video.

2000s: Player scores game-winning, fourth-quarter touchdown. Player spins ball like top and runs to sideline camera for posing. Coach runs over to female bombshell sideline reporter and says he is ready to answer any questions she might have. Player forgoes quenching his thirst; calls peeps on cell phone. Player arrested later that night for driving naked around campus in stolen car.

2010s: Player scores game-winning, fourth-quarter touchdown. Player drops ball on ground (preferably after he crosses the goal line; Celebration Fail) and either Tebows, tweets about it, gives a "Flying Chest Bump" or all three. Head coach reminds player to drink energy drink while the camera is on him. Player waits until camera is white-balanced and focused, then pretends to sip energy drink while smiling broadly as he gives "fives" to millionaire boosters wearing media credentials on sidelines. Athletic director inks new merchandise contract highlighting moment. Player's uncle accused of selling game-worn cleats on internet.

Week Two: 4-5

Season: 12-9

Sept. 14

Louisville -14 @ Kentucky: Once again the Mildcats perform up to Ohio Valley Conference standards.

Southern Miss @ Arkansas -22: Southern Ole Miss is the perfect example of why you don't unceremoniously run off the coach that led you to 14 consecutive winning seasons and 10 bowl games then hire a fancy-pants, visor-wearing Offensive Coordinator that you know will be gone after four seasons. Now the Southern Ole Miss program is in complete shambles.

Alabama @ Texas A&M +7.5: Bammer is looking to revenge its only defeat last season; just about everyone would rather have a root canal than have to watch a college sophomore run around the field mocking everything that is good in this world and A.J. McCarron's girlfriend now has a million-plus followers on Twitter … perfect time to hold your nose and take the home dog points.

Western Michigan @ Northwestern -31: The Line King has officially jumped on the Northwestern bandwagon. Take them the rest of the season no matter the number.

Tennessee @ Oregon -27.5: Mike $live has done all he can to have this game canceled.

Mississippi State @ Auburn - 6: Proof that The Line King checks his emotions at the door.

Vanderbilt @ South Carolina -13.5: At this rate, the $EC East champion might show up in Atlanta in December with a 6-6 record. Just not enough points to sit with the Vandy fan this weekend.

Kent State +37 at LSU: The Tigers have a history of not covering these types of games … can they do it two weeks in a row? No.

UTEP -6.5 at New Mexico State: This is officially "The Most Insignificant 'Rivalry'" in college football.

Mississippi +3.5 @ Texas: For The Line King, this game is like North Korea vs. Iran. Can it end in a tie? Maybe Mississippi can end the Mack Brown drama this weekend.

Copyright 2013 Raycom News Network. All rights reserved.

Powered by Frankly