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Line King likes home teams, contrarian picks this week

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  • Texas A&MMore>>

  • Hot Reads: 'Dogs open eyes and SEC East race

    Hot Reads: 'Dogs open eyes and SEC East race

    Thursday, September 11 2014 8:00 AM EDT2014-09-11 12:00:27 GMT
    Georgia emerges from the dark depths of a bye week and heads across I-20 to take on South Carolina. Redheaded stepchildren have gotten better treatment than the Bulldogs in their last two trips to Columbia.
    Georgia emerges from the dark depths of a bye week and heads across I-20 to take on South Carolina. Redheaded stepchildren have gotten better treatment than the Bulldogs in their last two trips to Columbia.
  • What We Learned from the SEC in Week 2

    What We Learned from the SEC in Week 2

    Sunday, September 7 2014 12:54 PM EDT2014-09-07 16:54:17 GMT

    It's still much too early to talk about who will be in the playoff at the end of the year, but it looks safe to say the Big 10 won't be represented.

    It's still much too early to talk about who will be in the playoff at the end of the year, but it looks safe to say the Big 10 won't be represented.

  • Hot Reads: Up is down, down is up in SEC this week

    Hot Reads: Up is down, down is up in SEC this week

    Thursday, September 4 2014 8:00 AM EDT2014-09-04 12:00:24 GMT
    Texas A&M was a surprising team in its first game, but that may not be such a good thing. On the other hand, an Alabama squad that was just blah is likely headed in a more positive direction.
    Texas A&M was a surprising team in its first game, but that may not be such a good thing. On the other hand, an Alabama squad that was just blah is likely headed in a more positive direction.
  • South CarolinaMore>>

  • Robinson earns SEC honor for efforts in Gamecocks' win over UGA

    Robinson earns SEC honor for efforts in Gamecocks' win over UGA

    Monday, September 15 2014 10:11 PM EDT2014-09-16 02:11:46 GMT
    Offensive tackle Corey Robinson was named the SEC Offensive Lineman of the Week following South Carolina's 38-35 win over Georgia. The 6-8, 344-pound seniors out of Havelock, N.C., helped the Gamecocks
    Corey Robinson has been named the SEC Offensive Lineman of the Week.
  • ESPN to televise South Carolina vs. Missouri

    ESPN to televise South Carolina vs. Missouri

    Monday, September 15 2014 11:32 AM EDT2014-09-15 15:32:16 GMT
    The University of South Carolina football game against Missouri on September 27th will be televised on ESPN. Kickoff is at 7 p.m.The university's athletics department announced the broadcast and game time
    The University of South Carolina football game against Missouri on September 27th will be televised on ESPN. Kickoff is at 7 p.m.
  • South Carolina jumps to No. 14 in AP poll

    South Carolina jumps to No. 14 in AP poll

    Sunday, September 14 2014 2:12 PM EDT2014-09-14 18:12:17 GMT
    South Carolina's win over Georgia vaulted the Gamecocks 10 spots to No. 14 in The Associated Press college football poll, giving the Southeastern Conference an unprecedented seven teams in the top 15. The
    South Carolina's win over Georgia vaulted the Gamecocks 10 spots to No. 14 in The Associated Press college football poll, giving the Southeastern Conference an unprecedented seven teams in the top 15. 

The following column is satire and intended for entertainment purposes.

(RNN) - Week 5, and what a week it was for Alabama. Is Nick $aban leaving or staying? Has Texas contacted him or not? Why would he go? Why would he stay?

What does he eat for breakfast? Two Little Debbie snack cakes, every single day? How weird is he, anyway? Why does anyone care?

This whole $aban-to-Texas thing and $aban himself have been analyzed more than a Stanley Kubrick film, and The Line King is, quite frankly, tired of it.

Focus, people!

The Line King views college football teams with the sort of dispassion that commodities brokers regard pork bellies and orange juice futures. The Line King is focused, and just look at his ROI:

Week Four: 6-3-1

Season: 23-17-1

Games of Sept. 28

South Carolina @ UCF +7.5: UCF Check List…stomp Akron, check; stomp FIU, check; stomp Penn State, check…wait, what? Pundits say never go against The Visor so The Line King will.

South Alabama @ Tennessee -19: Really, just 19 points against a program that is about three weeks old? How far have the Vols fallen? With a win, this gives Tennessee the inside edge for their first Sun Belt Conference title and a spot in the R+L Carriers Bowl.

LSU @ Georgia -3: In the ultimate contrarian play, take the Hedges over the Bayou. It's the antithesis of the classic "sandwich" game. The Dawgs laid an egg last week and have a cream-puff schedule from here on out; and please, all of you Tennessee fans don't say a thing.

Mississippi @ Alabama -16.5: Again, classic contrarian play. Everyone loves Hugh Freezer, and the Black Bear is all giddy about returning to the Cotton Bowl. No one, and I mean no one, outside of the 205, 334 and 251 area codes likes Bammer, so take the Tide.

Florida @ Kentucky +14.5: At some point Kentucky has to cover against an $EC team, right?

FAU @ Rice -13.5: Rice gets a second chance after the greatest onside kick ever.

Texas A&M @ Arkansas +3: Arkansas' loss to Rutgers last week fully debunked the theory that $EC teams are manned by superior human beings. Mike $live sent out his official warning letter to the Hogs.

Arkansas St. @ Missouri -21.5: Missouri proved last week it can pretend to be an $EC team when the $live-heat is on to perform.

UAB @ Vanderbilt -19.5: Although UA's B team is still in the running for the FCS playoffs, The Line King will sit with the Vandy fan this weekend. Goodness knows, he needs some moral support having gone 1-3 against the number so far this season.

Wyoming @ Texas State +10.5: Ironically, Texas State is coached by former Bammer coach Dennis Franchione (remember those two years?), who resigned from Bammer for Texas A&M… hmmmm.

Copyright 2013 Raycom News Network. All rights reserved.

  • Southeastern ConferenceMore>>

  • What We Learned from the SEC in Week 3

    What We Learned from the SEC in Week 3

    Sunday, September 14 2014 1:47 PM EDT2014-09-14 17:47:12 GMT

    Two top 10 teams were upset this week, and to the surprise of few, they were Southern Cal and Georgia.

    Two top 10 teams were upset this week, and to the surprise of few, they were Southern Cal and Georgia.

  • No. 24 South Carolina upsets No. 6 Georgia 38-35

    No. 24 South Carolina upsets No. 6 Georgia 38-35

    Saturday, September 13 2014 10:09 PM EDT2014-09-14 02:09:54 GMT
    Dylan Thompson threw for three touchdowns and No. 24 South Carolina's maligned defense stood strong on a fourth-quarter goal line stand to topple No. 6 Georgia 38-35 on Saturday night.
    No. 24 South Carolina's defense showed it's not nearly as bad as it looked two weeks ago - and maybe that No. 6 Georgia isn't the runaway favorite in the Southeastern Conference Eastern Division.
  • USC season on line; UGA looking to break bad; Vols face tough road test

    USC season on line; UGA looking to break bad; Vols face tough road test

    Friday, September 12 2014 6:00 PM EDT2014-09-12 22:00:26 GMT
    Georgia can establish itself as a top-tier beast if it gets by South Carolina this weekend - and USC would drop to 0-2 in the league with a loss. Tennessee travels to Oklahoma, where Coach Bob Stoops doesn't believe the SEC is all-powerful.
    Georgia can establish itself as a top-tier beast if it gets by South Carolina this weekend - and USC would drop to 0-2 in the league with a loss. Tennessee travels to Oklahoma, where Coach Bob Stoops doesn't believe the SEC is all-powerful.
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