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Line King suggests way to make football games last 5 days

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(RNN) - Sachin Tendulkar is retiring this weekend.

Sachin Tendulkar might be, scratch that, is one of the most popular sports heroes of our time.

" Who" you ask, "is that feller? Does he play for Bammer? He ain't no Johnny Football!"

Sachin Tendulkar has represented his home country of India on the playing fields of his chosen sport since the age of 16, an unprecedented run of 24 years.

Sachin Tendulkar is one of cricket's greatest batsmen of all time.

"Wait," you say. "Cricket?!?! How does that connect with this weekend's Games of the Century?"

It doesn't, but The Line King loves any sport that can last up to five days - seriously, five days. You would, too, if you think about it.

What true Bama fan wouldn't be happy to hang out at Bryant-Denny Stadium from Wednesday until Sunday? It beats working or even getting a new tattoo. And that goes for most $EC football fans – except the Vandy fan, who has a demanding job as a bank officer and already understands the rules of cricket, which he played during his year abroad back in prep school.

So how do you make a college football game last over an entire weekend and maybe in the process capture a whole, new market - like India?

1. Make the scoring as confusing as possible and make for more scoring opportunities, like fantasy football: 1 point for every first down; 1 point for every yard rushed, thrown or received. Points for field goals and extra points both attempted and scored.

2. The field shall be enlarged to a perfect square: 100 yards x 100 yards, with four end zones.

3. The game remains four quarters but each team rotates on offense each quarter, and there's no clock.

4. Team A starts in the center of the field and tries to march toward any of the four end zones - in any direction - and score.

5. The team on offense gets 10 plays, not 4, to gain 10 yards - in any direction, for a first down.

6. There is no line of scrimmage for the team on offense, they just have the ball and go anywhere.

7. For instance: it might be sixth down and 15 to go heading toward the north end zone, but sixth and 10 headed toward the south, east and west end zone.

8. To play defense, Team B would surround Team A and Team A players would run all over the place.

9. If Team A doesn't get a first down, Team B gets 1 point and Team A starts back at midfield.

10. After Team A completes a first down or is stopped 10 times - regardless of time it takes, Team B goes on offense and starts the second quarter.

11. The periods between quarters shall be referred as "Tea Break."

12. Halftimes will be referred as "Lunch" and will last one hour.

13. Home teams will be able to invite special guest bands to perform, such as The Who, Beyonce or both - all sponsored by Big Al's Tattoo Parlor.

14. The match shall be over when both teams have completed their allotment of offensive series (20) within a five-day period.

15. If one team hasn't completed their offensive series by 5 p.m. Sunday, the match shall be declared a tie, which shall be called a "draw," which sounds more like a British Empire thing - regardless of the current score.

Think of the fun when Bammer beats little Ol' Mississippi 978-8 to 450.

Confusing enough? Can you not understand it at all? Good!

If the new rules work for India, then Mike $live will have another 1.237 billion fans to push the $EC Network to.

Overall: 58-49-3

Last Week: 4-5 (very un-Tendulkar like)

Week 12 picks

Kentucky @ Vandy -12.5

Florida +11 @ SoCar

Houston +16.5 @ Louisville

UGA +3 @ Barn

Bammer @ Miss State +24.5

Troy +28 @ Mississippi

FIU +6 @ UTEP

Wyoming + 24 @ Boise

Copyright 2013 Raycom News Network. All rights reserved.

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